


Staring into the Enemy's eyes

by Ticker



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, All Kids, All Trolls, F/F, F/M, I'll add characters and relationships as I go along, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 05:21:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ticker/pseuds/Ticker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU fic where the kids and trolls beat the game and defeat Lord English. This takes place a couple of years afterwards, where they find themselves on a planet where humans and trolls are living together in semi-peacefulness (not really harmony). Unfortunately, just as everyone is getting used to their peaceful lives (with occasional skirmishes) and forgetting the horrors of Sgrub/Sburb, war breaks out between the humans and trolls colonizing the planet. Can their tiny village stand up to the waves of attacks from both species who want to claim the forest they live in as a key staging area? Can they all survive the tension as they try to remain together as a solidified troll/human force? Or will they break apart and take sides in this crazy war?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Roomies

**== > Be Nepeta**

You are now Nepeta Leijon.

 

You yawn and stretch on the small pile of furs that you were sleeping on, taking a moment to admire the strange fur that makes up your small pile. While looking at your sleeping pile, you can’t help but think on how it has been three years since, through the combined efforts of the trolls and humans, you all managed to beat not only Jack Noir but also Lord English.

 

Sometimes you still felt it unfair that you had to help fight despite being dead at the time. Oh well.

 

It had been a strange thing, coming back to life this time, the temporal energy released upon the slaying of Lord English bringing back all of the deceased trolls. For one thing, you couldn’t remember a thing about your time in the dream bubbles, instead only remembering up to the point where you had been cowering in a corner while your insane friend, Gamzee, walked up to you with a club in hand and three long scratches covering his face…

 

Suddenly shivering, you divert your mind from the thought of your death and return your thoughts to the present. The present being a beeping drawing tablet with a message from one of your furriends.

 

 **grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ** **began trolling** **arsenicCatnip [AC]**

GA: Nepeta.

GA: Are You Awake Yet?

GA: I Need To Talk To You.

AC: :33 < *ac sl33pily yawns and stretches as she rouses from her catnap.*

AC: :33 < i just woke up as a matter of fact!

AC: :33 < what can i do for you kankitty?

GA: The Thing Is, I Have Need To Be Away From My Current Location For A Few Days And I Was Wondering If You’d Mind Taking Me In.

AC: :33 < *ac perks up happily and begins batting at the hem of kanayas dress.*

AC: :33 < of course you can stay with me! we’ll be best furriends and cave-mates!

AC: :33 < of course, you’ll have to hunt fur your own food.

AC: :33 < i only have enough here for me.

GA: This Is Acceptable. Is Now A Good Time To Come Over?

GA: I May Not Have Mentioned It, But I Am In A Bit Of A Hurry.

AC: :33 < *ac finds herself purrplexed by one of her friends problems.*

AC: :33 < why are you in a such a furry kanaya? are you ok?

GA: I… Am Fine Nepeta. I Simply Need A Refuge For A Few Days.

GA: I Will Explain More Fully When I Arrive.

 

 **grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ** **ceased trolling** **arsenicCatnip [AC]**

 

You look at your screen in confusion, wondering what trouble could have befallen such a kind, yet furrocious troll like Kanaya. In the meantime, you decide to tidy up your cave so that your fashionable troll friend would be more comfortable.

 

**== > Be the Fashionable Troll Friend**

Your name is Kanaya Maryam. And this has shaped up to be a very bad day.

 

**== > Years in the past, but only about twenty minutes ago**

 

Your day had started out normally, waking up at the first hint of light and heading downstairs where Rose, your potential matesprit, had already prepared herself some breakfast.

 

“Hey you.” You say, kissing Rose on the cheek before opening your mouth, your sharp fangs glittering in the early morning light, and biting into Rose’s neck.

 

Ever since becoming a Rainbow Drinker, you find that you need at least a pint of blood once a week to keep you going. And Rose, who has been living with you for the past year, was more than happy to provide it for you. When she could that is. You find that more often than not you have to rely on the donated blood of the consorts or your assorted circle of friends.

 

Today was to be a big day for you. Everyone knew that you and Rose were been flushed for each other, your troll friends never understanding why the two of you never declared yourselves for what you were, while your human friends,  understanding  this new ‘love’ emotion that you had flowing through you, merely joked about it while making it clear that they were happy for you. But today, today was the day your troll friends would shut up and your human friends would cheer happily, as you intended to propose to Rose, human-style, that very morning.

 

Love. It was a mangled and confusing emotion, seeming to swallow up all of the quadrants and yet simultaneously bringing them into clear focus. Most of the other trolls found it a difficult concept, one emotion being able to express all four quadrants, albeit on a sliding scale. But then, not many of the other trolls were in a flushed relationship with a human. (Though the only other one you were aware of still doesn’t quite get it.) Though it hardly really mattered as they all still used their own courtship methods. You just preferred the human method is all.

 

You had just finished drinking Rose’s blood, licking the last few delicious drops from her neck when a loud pounding shook your hive. You turn around to face the door just as it burst inward, a glowing blue ram sticking out before seemingly disintegrating. You growl as the ram splits into eight 8-sided die, and a rather tall and spindly figure cackles as she bends down to pick them up.

 

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything!” Vriska says, laughing as she walks into the kitchen. “I just wanted to check up on my Moirail. Kanaaaaaaaaya, if it’s no trouble, I’d like to have a word or two. Or maybe a little bit more???????? ” Vriska wiggles here eyebrows in a suggestive manner even as you growl and retrieve your favorite chainsaw from your Strife Specibus.

 

“EX-Moirail.” You say, revving the chainsaw, smiling slightly as it roars to life. “Now get out of here.”

 

“But why? I mean, I go through aaaaaaaall the trouble of coming here to warn you and you just turn me away? Tsk tsk. I see how it is!” Vriska mockingly shakes her head and pretends to take offense even as she begins to walk out the door.

 

“And just what are you trying to warn us about?” You ask, lowering your chainsaw but not putting it away.

 

“I saw a small group of trolls out in the woods.” Vriska said, knowing that any attempts to be coy with this kind of information would get her culled in a heartbeat. “They wouldn’t be able to cause trouble on their own, but they’re outfitted as a scout group which makes me think that there might be a larger party somewhere.”

 

“I see.” You say, putting your chainsaw away even as you step back. “I’ll be sure to inform Karkat and John of this. Please go and scout further to see if you can gather any more information.”

 

“Aaaaaaaabsolutely Fussyfangs!” Vriska cackles before taking a step closer. “But first, I think I deserve a reward for what I told…”

 

Your first instinct as Vriska steps towards you is to go for your chainsaw. As is your second and third instincts. However, Vriska wasn’t the group’s main scout for no reason. Quickly closing the gap between the two of you, she surprises you with an aggressive kiss even as her left hand reaches around to squeeze your rear. You squeak in surprise but then melt slightly as your long-forgotten flush-crush for Vriska suffers a temporary resurgence and you can’t help but-

 

You glance over at Rose as Vriska kisses you and ~~fiddlesticks~~ , ~~shit~~ , SHIT. Rose is glaring beams of death at you and Vriska, and you know that the fact that you haven’t pushed Vriska away yet is NOT scoring you any points in Rose’s book right now. However, before you can rectify THAT blunder, Vriska tears herself away from you and gives you a wink with her 7-pupiled eye.

 

“See ya laaaaaaaater Fussyfangs!” Vriska calls out, cackling gleefully as she casually strolls out of your hive, only then booking it to wherever she was next going.

 

You stand absolutely still, your chainsaw (now a tube of lipstick) lies forgotten on the floor. That only registers to you as you turn to Rose. The normally pale, even by human standards, human’s skin is now an ashy grey; Her eyes glow with an ethereal light and she seems to have gripped her coffee cup so hard that it exploded, the liquid boiling on her skin as she stares at you.

 

“Uh… R-Rose?” You begin, hoping to calm her down.

 

 **TELL KARKAT THAT HE NEEDS NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS PATHETIC GROUP TRYING TO INVADE US.** Rose says, or rather screams in a combination of eldritch tongues that roughly sound like English as she gets up, a multitude of shadow enshrouding her form. **THEY SHALL NOT EXIST MUCH LONGER.**

****

Rose begins walking toward the door and ~~shit~~ ~~SHIT~~ ~~SHIT~~ **~~SHIT~~ ~~SHIT~~ _SHIT._** But instead of obliterating you to atoms and then feeding your soul to the Horrorterrors, she merely sweeps by you and heads to the forest.

 

Your knees feel weak and you feel like toppling over and fainting but you know that it won’t take Rose long to finish of the group in the woods and then you’d be fucked. And somewhere in your tiny village Dave and Dirk Strider both rear their heads as they resist the urge to say ‘and not in the good way’.

 

Using every bit of your superhuman (or supertroll as the case may in fact be) speed, you pack all of your important items in your Sylladex before going to your husktop and previewing you list of friends who might let you stay with them while this blew over.

 

The alpha trolls were immediately out. Too many differences among them and while you enjoyed the company of your dancestor, you had the feeling that living together wouldn’t work out.

 

The humans also wouldn’t work. They’d probably side with Rose and, honestly, you couldn’t very well blame them. That just left your other friends, the beta trolls.

 

Feferi and Eridan were out since both of them made their homes underwater, though in separate lakes.

 

Karkat was a maybe, but since he was your somewhat-moirail (a rather complicated relationship between you, him, and Gamzee that all the other trolls found rather perverse truth be told) he’d try to meddle and try to talk to Rose before she calmed down.

 

Vriska was obviously out since she started this mess.

 

Gamzee… Had gotten better since the winning of the game and the return of his sanity, but you would still rather not risk it. Plus, his hive smelled. Even from a distance. Karkat makes weekly treks to Gamzee’s hive, dressed in a hazmat suit that Dave ironically gave him and Karkat unironically thanked him for, and cleans it up while Gamzee talked about miracles.

 

Tavros would probably faint if you told him why you needed to stay over there. He had gotten a bit braver after he died, but he was still rather timid.

 

Sollux was still rather bipolar and would probably accidently use his psionics on you if you accidently rubbed him wrong, which was something that everyone seemed to be doing more frequently.

 

Aradia… Might actually be pretty ok to bunk with, but her sudden and cheerful shift of attitude after so long of her being emotionless and haunting was a bit creepy to you. Still, she was a strong maybe.

 

Equius was out simply due to the fact that he was still exceptionally STRONG. He’d insist at one point to help you in some way due to your position on the hemospectrum which, while lower than his, still granted you a much more vaunted position. And while his willingness to help would be nice, him accidently breaking or tearing your things simply wouldn’t do. Plus, he still sweats. Ew.

 

Terezi was… Just no. She was still blind and would use that excuse to absolutely RUIN any outfits you tried bringing over, despite you knowing that she could smell them perfectly well without ruining them.

 

**== > Wonder why the hell you’re being so picky. Your unlife is on the line woman!**

 

You realize that you’re being rather picky in your selections but you DO have some standards you have to live by. Anyways, back to you list.

 

Nepeta? She’d be the biggest threat to your wardrobe. That aside however, she was fierce enough that she wouldn’t be frightened by your story, had a clean enough lifestyle (minus her killing to feed but as long as she cleaned up after herself…) that you wouldn’t be thoroughly repulsed, and cared precisely jack shit about the hemospectrum. And besides, with the wardrobe issue, Nepeta would probably not do anything if you asked her not to. Maybe.

 

All facts figured, Aradia seemed like the best choice. Still, something kept tugging your attention to that olive green name on your friend list… With a sigh, you click on Nepeta’s handle and begin asking her if you can stay over for a bit.

 

***

 

After leaving a note on the kitchen table to explain to Rose that you had gone to Nepeta’s to await Rose to cool down some, you find yourself being shown into a small cave complex by the very excited cattroll. Still, the place did have a quaint charm to it and Nepeta’s enthusiasm over having a ‘roomie’ as she called it was infectious and pretty soon you were both chatting eagerly, unaware that this peace would soon be shattered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason Vriska's a scout is because rowdy groups tend to randomly attack the village. This escalated to war parties when slavers discovered that so many of the trolls living there had rare colors. This chapter is set before the war. Just getting a few ships set up before Charlie gets the fucking drop on them. Also, if anyone knows how to change the color of the text, please let me know how. I REALLY want to color in their text conversations. In the future I'm gonna do a few of those sprawling memo chapters and I know from experience that it's a headache to read through those without the color. Kind of a headache with the color as well, but that at least it helps you keep track of who's talking.
> 
> Many thanks to Firewood who posted the link that helped me figure out how to do the blasted colors. You're the best man!


	2. News of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an heiress is secretly dating a mutant and two races declare war on each other.

**== > Be the angry troll with nubby horns**

 

WHA-? NO! FUCK YOU! SERIOUSLY, TALKING ABOUT MY HORNS LIKE THAT! I’M GONNA SHOVE THIS SICKLE OF MINE SO FAR UP YOUR-

 

**== > Be Karkat Vantas**

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST GET THROUGH SAYING?!?!? I AIN’T DOING ANYTHING FOR YOU NOOKSUCKING WIGGLERS WHO MAKE FUN OF MY HORNS!

 

**== > Fine. Be the angry troll who does _not_ have nubby horns of any kind whatsoever**

NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME… Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are…

 

**== > A prick**

… a prick who is- WAIT. WHAT THE HELL? OH REAL MATURE FUCKASS. IS THAT THE BEST THAT YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN MIND CAN COME UP WITH TO INSULT ME?!?!?

 

**== > No, but this is getting far off topic. Just do what you’re supposed to do.**

OR WHAT?!?

 

**== > Or I write you as being flushed for Eridan _and_ Cronus. After all, they’re both desperate. Probably won’t mind sharing you…**

OH, GOD _NO_. WELL… UH… FINE. BUT DON’T YOU THINK FOR A _SECOND_ THAT THIS IS OVER BULDGELICK!

 

**== > Wouldn’t dream of it. Now get on with the fic.**

 

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you had secretly stolen away into the woods to escape the attention of the other trolls as you go to meet your matesprit. Luckily, the both of you have experience in keeping your movements secret so you both managed to arrive at your designated meeting spot with little trouble.

 

Arriving early, you prepare for you private date by spreading a clean sheet on the ground and ejecting some food from your Sylladex onto it. You grimace at the horrific lightshow of your Miracle Modus. Egbert had introduced the trolls to the ridiculous ‘Christmas’ holiday that most humans seem to obsess over and Gamzee had given you his Modus as a present.

 

You would have thrown it away or at least given it back but gog _damn_ Gamzee was the lord and master of the hurt puppy-dog eyes. Even better than Egbert. So you had simply given him the Beehive Modus Sollux had once given you and adapted to this gaudy thing.

 

Your musings of your rather retarded Sylladex is interrupted as the bushes rustle. Your sickle is in your hands in a thump of your bloodpusher as you wait to see what emerges. A familiar giggle causes you to relax and put away your sickle even as Feferi rushes from the undergrowth to give you a rather wet hug. “Hi Karcrab!!!” She says excitedly.

 

**== > Oh shit. Feferi’s about to ruin your secret date. Quick, get rid of her!**

You ignore the ramblings in the back of your head as you give a rather pained smile to Feferi. All of your joyful expressions look either pained or forced. Or maniacal. And anyways, how would Feferi ruin your date? She’s the one you were meeting!

 

**== > …The fuck?**

And reactions like that is why you were keeping the whole ordeal a secret. During the game, you and Feferi had a lot of respect for each other, despite being on separate teams. (When you were still thinking that teams mattered.) On the meteor, you had assumed much like everyone else that Feferi and Sollux were an item and had left matters alone. However, an item though Sollux and Feferi had been and now still are, theirs was a pale relationship. Not flushed.

 

**== > Backstory. Now. Make it happen.**

 

After settling down on Galinex, the planet that had sprung forth as the fruit of 4 entwined sessions, you and Feferi had simply avoided each other. Here, the hemospectrum still mattered. Feferi, though reluctant to do so, accepted the overall leadership of the two troll groups (Meenah having decided at the last second that village treasurer was more in her line) and established the joint human/troll village where everyone lived.

 

It had been a year later, after having fought back a particularly nasty bunch of brigands, that Karkat had approached her and offered to help her dress her wounds. It had been during this that he had confessed a red crush for her. Having felt the same for quite some time, though she kept it a secret even from Sollux, she accepted his feelings and they became matesprits.

 

Despite their feelings, however, they kept it secret. The troll government, headed by The Condesce (The bitch who will not die), barely let them be as it was just having two mutants under her care. If word got out that she was mated with one? They would raze the village to the ground and leave no survivors.

 

**== > Switch to Feferi**

 

Glub.

 

**== > Thank you for the exposition. Please continue.**

 

“HEY FISHFERI!” Karkat calls out, doing that little grimace that passes for a genuine smile for him and gesturing for you to sit. You giggle as you sit down, happy and amused as always as Karkat calls you by the fish-punned nickname he had come up with some months ago. Sitting down, you notice a small plate of sandwiches. Looking up, you see Karkat looking at you expectantly.

 

You gingerly pick up one of the sandwiches that Karkat had brought. Even though you had eaten recently at a meeting with some human officials who had wanted to use their village as a trading post and were negotiating the rights, you knew that Karkat worked hard on them and you hated to disappoint. You take a polite bite out of it before setting it back down. The edge of Karkat’s mouth wobbles, a sign that you had long since learned was the equivalent of a normal troll’s pleased growl.

 

Karkat, after witnessing your polite display, immediately digs into his food, tearing it apart as if he hasn’t eaten in days. You almost giggle at the thought when a random gust of wind causes his shirt to billow up, briefly exposing his chest, and also revealing his clearly-seen ribs.

 

“Karkat…” You begin; worry reflecting in your voice in the notable absence of your usual fish puns as you reach forward to touch his skin, hands tracing each individual rib. “How long has it been since you last ate? And why are you depriving yourself?”

 

Karkat opens his mouth, half in shock and half to deliver an angry retort. Before he can begin speaking, however, you shoot him a worried look and he melts. Well, he somewhat softens.

 

He growls a bit and then clears his throat, clearly unhappy about his mal-nutrition being exposed. “IT STARTED A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. I NOTICED THAT THE ATTACKS HAD BEEN GETTING MORE FREQUENT SO I STARTED ORGANIZING AND LEADING PATROLS. MOSTLY WITH VRISKA AND NEPETA.” You can’t help but feel a swell of affection at that. Even years later, the leadership skills he had revealed during Sgrub still hadn’t left him.

 

“SO ANYWAYS, WE INVESTIGATED THE ATTACKS AS WELL AS WARNED EVERYONE WHEN ONE WOULD HAPPEN. BUT SOMETHING’S MISSING FEFERI. I KNOW IT IS. SO I’VE BEEN DOING SOME SOLO PATROLLING TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS.”

 

You open your mouth to say something, something comforting or encouraging, when something shoves you to the ground. You briefly hear the clang of steel and a startled “WHAT THE FUCK?!?” as you roll and stand up, your 2x3-dent raised and ready. What you see is not what you expect.

 

Dave Strider and Aradia Megido stand before you, Dave’s half-sword dripping red as two humans lat at his feet. Aradia’s hand is raised, a red nimbus surrounding it has she uses her formidable psychic talents to hold a third human in place.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?” Karkat yells, clearly unnerved by the sight of so much red blood being spilled. As he speaks, a form bursts through the trees, a troll whose blood, if the sign was to be believed, was only two shades darker than lime. As she rushes the loudmouthed troll, Dave flashsteps over to Karkat and, with a casual flick of his now full-length sword (he retained his ability, after the game, to revert his broken weapons to their unbroken state) beheads the troll.

 

Green now mixes with red as the human in Aradia’s bubble lets out a hysterical laugh.

 

“It’s war you miserable nubby shit!” The unknown human cries. “War has been declared between our two races! This was but the first attack, an attempt to grab a key staging area. But more will come, your pathetic village will be overwhelmed, and mine and my companion’s deaths will be avenged!”

 

The obviously now-crazed man lets out a maniacal laugh before suddenly and sharply focusing on Dave. “I warn you now boy. Join the human army. Continue assisting with this multi-colored filth will only lead to the death of you and the other humans who live here!”

 

The man throws back his head and laughs once more. He continues laughing as Dave cleans the blood and puts his sword back in his Sylladex. He laughs as Karkat Captchalogues the half-eaten picnic and he laughs as you go over to Karkat and hold him close, not for his comfort, but for yours.

 

The crazed human’s laugh continues, finally stopping as, with a crushed fist and a burst of energy, Aradia crushes the man with her telekinetic powers. She simply lets go of the pulped remains and grabs Dave’s hand as he stumbles and holds his hand to a gash on his upper shoulder. It is only now that you notice that he’s covered in scratches. Aradia, however, was pristine with having her psychic abilities to protect her.

 

“War.” You breathe, the word catching your throat and causing your blood-pusher to shudder. War was about to invade their peaceful lives. And if what the human said was true, it was only a matter of time before they would have to pick a side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say I'm sorry for the long absence and with such a short chapter, but I'm not. I'm a slow writer unless inspiration strikes and my muse's well as only been pumping dust lately. Still, a chapter I hope ya'll will enjoy. People with a keen eye may notice that the overall feel of this chapter is different from the last one. They would be correct. You see, I was originally inspired by Bloodyshadow1's 'Between Jade and Green' (Here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/399636/chapters/657841) to write a romance fic for Nepeta and Kanaya with just enough action to spice it up a little. I had almost finished the first chapter when I realized that I had no idea how to write the touchy-feely type of romance I was going for and instead edited it to the beginning of this fic. I still intend for there to be romance, but instead of the 'the right one was under my nose all along' type I was originally going for, I'm going for a much more direct method of 'developing bonds while dodging bullets'.
> 
> And if anyone noticed, they'll see that in the relationship tags I've been doing some rare pairings. (Kanaya/Nepeta, Feferi/Karkat, Aradia/Dave (Which will be expanded on next chapter.)) This is intentional as another part of what I wanted to accomplish with this fic was to open people's eyes to rarely seen and rarely written pairs that I feel needed some love.
> 
> Anyways, I hope ya'll like this chapter and, a plea from the previous chapter, if anyone reading this knows how to color the pesterchum/trollian chats please let me know how!
> 
> ((Also, please don't mock the name of the planet. I thought New Earthania, which to my research is the preferred name to the new world, sounded incredibly tacky and I needed a name. If you got a batter one please leave a comment and if I like it I'll change it.))


	3. Hostile Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rewind time a bit. How did Dave and Aradia show up just in time to save Karkat and Feferi?

**== > Be the coolkid after Aradia splatters a random human**

The fuck? Aradia splattering someone? The hell do you mean?

 

**== > Er… I might have gotten the wrong time. What time is it to you?**

Hold on man! Before I go checking my internal clock like I’m some dope android tell me about Aradia splattering some guy.

 

**== > It’s time shit. You’ll know when you know.**

 

Fine. It’s 11:23 AM.

 

**== > I’m early then. Meh. Might as well narrate you.**

 

Damn straight you’re gonna narrate me. I’m Dave motherfucking STRIDER. Look at me, all holed up in this hive with my god tier pjs on and about to…

 

**== > Save it for the storyline**

 

Dickshit.

 

**== > Be Dave Strider approximately 42 minutes in the past**

Your name is Dave Strider. You’re an extreme coolkid and an irony master. You are currently talking to Aradia while decapitating some of the smuppets (1.5x irony bonus) that Dirk had snuck into the hive you shared with the bubbly Ares. “I’m just saying ‘Radia. I know you’re interested in those mounds in the woods you discovered, but you don’t need me to come along just so that you can dig them up!”

 

You try to avoid looking into her eyes as she begins repl- Gogdammit. You looked. Woman has mastered the puppy eyes. Give that barkbeast a bone or you’ll be feelin’ all guilty and shit. “But Dave!!!” Aradia begins, knowing full well that she’s already got you with the eyes but driving the nail in deeper. “It goes faster with two people! Besides…” And now she leans closer, her tone switching from pleading to seductive, one hand trailing down your shirt as the other tinkers with your hoodie. “Just the two of us alone in the woods… For hours on end… Who knows what’ll happen? And who know what… Other things might need to be explored.” She gives you a seductive wink before back away.

 

Gogdammit. Gog FUCKING dammit. It’s over. Any and all resistance crumbling like a kid’s sand castle after a wave crashes over it. Sorry kid, guess you shouldn’t have built it so close to the water. You sigh and turn away from Aradia, trying to hide the bulge in your knightly tights. “Give me a minute to get ready I guess.”

 

Aradia Just smiled as you did some freaky time shit and your boner went down. Hell of a lot better than a cold shower, even if the shower DID make your nipples stand out. (1.3x Irony bonus for man-nipples) Grabbing a random shitty sword and stuffing it into your Strife Specibus, and ensuring that Aradia grabbed one of your whips, you two head off to the forest.

 

**== > Switch to being Indiana Megido**

 

You mentally swoon at this comparison as you and Dave wander around the woods, trying to find the curious mounds that you had discovered last week. You would have dug them up then, but the ground was too frozen for good digging. Luckily, with the first warm waves of spring breaking in, the ground was now thawed enough that you could dig. Providing that you and Dave can find them again. Truthfully, gathering up one of the space players would have been a good idea, but you weren’t joking about ‘exploring’ other things with Dave later.

 

**== > So you two are… Together?**

 

Yep. Have been for half a sweep now. Though he only moved into my hive recently.

 

**== >Flashback to when the two of you realized your feelings for each other**

 

Nah.

 

**== > Then explain it a bit**

 

Ok. Well, we had gotten to know each other a bit on the meteor since bubbles I wandered around in sometimes collided with ones he was travelling through. He’d rap a bit and tell some shitty jokes and that’d be it. After we somehow defeated Lord English by getting him laid and creating this planet, me and him just kinda hung out more. We got to know each other a bit until his confused metaphors led to him asking me out. There, exposition over. Can we continue our search now? I REALLY want to dig up those mounds.

 

**== > Fine. Carry on.**

 

After a good 15 minutes of searching, you and Dave finally reach the place where the mounds had been. Or rather, where they were. “Well, no mounds here.” Dave says, leaning against a tree. “Maybe this is the wrong place?”

 

“It can’t be.” You say, bending over to inspect the ground closer. “See? I marked that rock over there with the time gear to show that this is the location.” Seeing something peculiar, you grab a weirdly shaped rock. As you grab it, it turns out to be a rather long rock. Connected to an even longer one. Connected to… “Dave…” You say, a quaver in your voice. “Is this what I think it is?”

 

“I think it is ‘Radia.” Dave says, coming over and moving you aside so that he can inspect it as well. “But is it troll or human?”

 

“I… Don’t know.” You say, looking over the bone piece, which you identify as being the Ulma. You carefully scrape a fingernail across the bone and examine the color. “Troll. Our bones are darker due to their increased density.” You look at Dave, who had materialized his weapon from his Strife Specibus. “I think… I think those mounds we discovered may have been graves…”

 

“Most likely.” Dave bends down and picks up another piece of bone, this one a dirty off-white. “But if what you’re saying about bone color is true, that means that this is human.”

 

You take the piece of bone from Dave and you examine it. “It is. What do you think happened?” Dave opens his mouth to answer, when suddenly the sound of metal-on-metal echoes throughout the forest. Dave, weapon already out, shoots towards the source of the noise. You take a second to pull a rifle from the spare RifleKind card Jake had given you on 12 Perigree’s eve before rushing off to join him.

 

**== > Be the ironic coolkid**

 

No.

 

**== > Huh?**

 

We just discovered mixed human and troll remains and now there’s some kind of fight not far from us. Bro would kill me if he heard me say this, but now is NOT a time for irony.

 

**== > Ok… Be Dave Strider?**

 

You are now Dave Strider. Your shitty sword, broken in half at the moment due to your retarded Strife Specibus, hacks away at the foliage as you make your way into a clearing. Before you now, stand Vriska with her back to a tree. On her left side is a single troll, a greenblood judging by the sign on her shirt. On her right is a party of eight humans. You resist the urge to add an irony bonus to the 8-obsessed troll facing down eight humans. Now’s not the time.

 

“What the hell’s going on Vriska?!?” You shout as your burst into the clearing. Instantly, the human’s weapons point to you. Then they relax for some reason, as if a weapon-toting coolkid in red pjs was normal for them.

 

“You arrived just in time son!” Called out one of the men, a clear military leader by the uniform. In fact… They all were in uniform. Fuck. “Just cornered these two trolls. Blueblood’s putting up a fight though!”

 

“I repeat, what the fuck is going on?” You say, looking at Vriska. “Did you do something stupid enough to get MILITARY PERSONELL looking into us?!?!?”

 

“I didn’t do nothing! I sweeeeeeeear by my lusus’s fangs!” Vriska shouted, parrying a bullet with the sword she received whenever her dice came up all eights. “These men were chasing this troll down and I intervened!”

 

“Then my next question would be, why were you guys chasing down this troll?” You ask, turning towards the humans.

 

“You crazy boy?!?” The leader asks. “Them’s trolls! And this is war! In war, we kill the enemy boy! And it looks like you’re aligned with them so I’ll give you a single chance. Either kill them rainbow motherfuckers or get shot down!”

 

 _“War?!?”_ The thought echoed in your mind. Before you can say anything though, Aradia bursts through the path you had cleared through the forest. And that’s when all hell breaks loose.

 

The squad of humans begins firing between your two groups. Vriska, with a roll of her dice, conjures a shield to hide behind until they can reload. You’re flashstepping your ass off while Aradia returns fire while hiding behind a tree. This stalemate goes on until, predictably, the military guys run out of ammo. You run forward, trying to incapacitate them before they can reload, when a blue blur rushes forward and decapitates 3 of them before you can say anything.

 

“Doooooooon’t go easy on them because they’re human Dave!” Vriska snarls, already cashing down soldiers four and five. “Because they wouldn’t have done the same to you!” Reaching the pair, Vriska guts them both before turning towards you. “I’m going to head back to the village and tell whoever Vantas put in charge that there’s trouble.” Vriska goes to leave but you stop her.

 

“Karkat’s gone?” You ask, worry carefully masked behind your shades.

 

“Yeah. He’s got some kind of biiiiiiiig secret meeting out in the woods. Maybe you should find him before anything happens to him.”

 

“Maybe I will!” You say, glancing at Aradia. She nods and puts the rifle in her Strife Specibus. Her psychic attacks would be better right now. You almost shout out to Vriska to take the greenblood with you, when you notice that she’s disappeared. Shrugging it off, you begin bounding through the forest, looking for your crabby mutant leader.

 

You search the woods for a good 10-12 minutes before you find yourself accidently sneaking up on the human soldiers from earlier. Part of you want to avoid them, no harm in it right? The part notices that they’re peering into a clearing. And that clearing has not only Karkat, but Feferi sitting down and enjoying a picnic.

 

You don’t even think. You don’t even need to. One second you’re observing some human’s observing your friends, and the next you’re standing on top of two corpses with your sword, whole now, painted bloody red. You glance to your side and notice Aradia holding the squad leader with her powers.

 

You’re about to put your sword away when you hear a noise. Reacting on instinct born of countless hours of Sburb combat, you flashstep up to Karkat and decapitate the same greenblooded troll you had rescued earlier.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK’S GOING ON?!?” Karkat exclaims. You wish you knew as well.

 

“It’s war you miserable nubby shit!” The squad leader cries out, the glint of madness in his eye. He rambles for a bit, explaining about how trolls and humans were somehow at war and how the forest your village was in was to be a staging area now when he suddenly looks straight at you. “I warn you now boy. Join the human army. Continue assisting with this multi-colored filth will only lead to the death of you and the other humans who live here!”

 

You’d be lying if you said that his words didn’t upset you, though you perfectly hid it.

 

The crazed man laughs as you clean your sword with your cape before putting it back into your Strife Specibus. He laughs as Feferi and Karkat clean away the remains of their picnic. He laughs until, with a nod from you, Aradia clenches her fist, pulping the man with a burst of psychic power.

 

You sigh and make your way to the village with your three grim troll friends tagging along behind you. This trainwreck of a situation changed a lot of things. Now the only question would be how everyone coped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I should apologize for the long time it took me to write this. I had gotten my GED and a lot of my time was going towards job-hunting. Anyways, Dave/Aradia. Next chapter's going to be a pesterlog chapter so be warned. Hopefully it'll take me less time to write. Also, in case anyone decides to complain, sorry if I screwed up the Dave parts. I'm just not able to replicate his coolkid ironic facade. Also, I don't know the first thing about rap so don't expect any Dave/Dirk raps in here. I might try it later but since I'm still trying to get people to read this I don't wanna scare anyone away with half-baked shitty rapping.


	4. Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memo chapter. Not much else to say. Slight foreshadowing.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has joined the memo!

cuttlefishCuller [CC] has joined the memo!

turntechGodhead [TG] has joined the memo!

apocalypseArisen [AA] has joined the memo!

arachnidsGrip [AG] has joined the memo!

CG: FUCK.

CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!

gallowsCalibrator [GC] has joined the memo!

GC: G33Z K4RK4T!

GC: WH4T’S WRONG TH1S TIME?

GC: 4 L34F F4LL ON YOUR HEAD?

GC: >:]

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has joined the memo!

GA: Are You Ok Karkat?

GA: You Have Not Opened Up One Of These Memos In Quite A While.

CC: No! Everyfin is not ok!

GC: F3F3R1?

GA: Might I Enquire As To What You Both Are So Worked Up About?

TG: war

GA: What?

GC: WH4T?

AA: war has arisen

AA: between humans and tr0lls

GA: :xx< what? that’s purrety horrible!

GA: :33< oh, hold on

arsenicCatnip [AC] has joined the memo!

AC: :33< sorry. i was p33ring over kancat’s shoulder

AC: :33< but that’s not impurrtant!

GC: 1, FOR ON3, 4GR33 WITH N3P3T4

GC: WH4T’S GO1NG ON?

AG: Didn’t you heeeeeeeeaaaaaaaar Pyrope?

AG: There’s a waaaaaaaar going on!

GC: BLUH!

GC: TH4T’S 4 T3RR1BL3 TH1NG TO L13 4BOUT VR1SK4!

GC: >:[

CG: MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE FOR THIS FUCKING NIGHTMARE TO BE A PRODUCT OF THE INFAMOUS SPIDERBITCHE’S ‘PLANS’, SHE NOT LYING.

CG: ME AND FEFERI WERE ATTACKED IN THE WOODS.

GC: >:o

AC: xoo< oh no!!!

AC: xoo< are you paw right karkitty?

CG: YEAH, DAVE AND ARADIA SHOWED UP JUST AS WE WERE ATTACKED.

CG: WE GOT LUCKY.

CC: Yea)(! Some reely fis)(y greenblood jumped out of the woods at us!

CC: I t)(ink she was angling for Dave after )(e got t)(e two )(umans who tried attacking us first!

caligulasAquarium [CA] has joined the memo!

CA: this is an outrage!

CA: wwe should go and wwreak havvoc on the humans!

CG: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE AMPORA?!?!?

GA: I Have To Agree With Karkat Eridan.

GA: We Should Not Rush Into Anything.

GA: Especially Since We Have A Good Number Of Humans Living Among Us.

CA: shut it kan!

CA: no one wwants to hear you defend your ‘moirail’

CA: i bet the only reason he evver agreed to be your pathetic fake diamond is because he pities you!

CA: and not in a flushed or pale wway!

CA: he human pities you and your pathetic redrom love life!

CC: T)(at’s going tuna far Eridan!

CA: i’m just sayin’ something wwe’ve all been thinking fef!

AG: No one was thinking that Eeeeeeeeridan!

GC: 1 H4T3 TO 4DM1T 1T, BUT VR1SK4 1S R1GHT

GC: YOU’R3 BE1NG 4 BULGE

CA: wwhat?!?

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

CG: ALL OF YOU!

CG: WE NEED A GAME PLAN!

GA: I Agree.

GA: First We Need To Decide What We Should Do.

GA: It’s A Simple, But Difficult Decision.

GA: Should We Remain Aloof Of This War…

GA: Or Do We Rid Ourselves Of Our Human Companions and Join The Trolls?

CG: KANYA… HOW CAN YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT?!?!?

CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, COULD EVEN SUGEST SUCH A THING!

GA: I Was Only Voicing Our Options.

GA: I Would Personally Remain Aloof.

TG: speaking as the current human representative

TG: i dont think its possible to remain aloof

TG: either our group will split ways and join our respective races

TG: or we fight a war against both races

CA: wwell how do wwe know that you humans havven’t already turned on us?

TG: what do you mean gills?

CA: wwell, you’re the only human on right noww

CA: wwhere are the others?

GA: If I May.

GA: Rose Is Currently Going Grimdark On A Human Scout Party.

GA: Something You Can Thank Vriska For.

CG: ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I THINK I ACTUALLY WILL SINCERELY THANK THE SPIDERBITCH.

AG: You’re welcome Kaaaaaaaarkaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!!!

twinArmageddons [TA] has joined the memo!

TA: roxy ith with me.

TA: we were comparing codeth.

TA: she’th not bad.

centaursTesticle [CT] has joined the memo!

CT: D --> The Dirk human is with me as well

CT: D --> We were talking about robotics and engineering

CT: D --> And horses

CT: D --> The discussion is beginning to make me sweat

CG: UGH!

CG: IF IT WASN’T FOR HOW IMPORTANT THIS FUCKING SUBJECT IS I’D BAN YOU AND ERIDAN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

CG: DO THESE RESPONSES SATISFY YOUR RUST-PANNED THINKINGS OF BETRAYAL?!?

CA: calm dowwn kar

CA: i wwas just being cautious is all

CG: FUCK YOU AND YOUR ‘CAUTION’!

CG: WE NEED A FUCKING PLAN PEOPLE!

adiosToreader [AT] has joined the memo!

AT: uh, I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S IMPORTANT,,,

AT: bUT THERE WERE SEVERAL TROLLS BY MY HIVE EARILER,

AT: rECRUITING,

CG: FUCK!

CG: ARE THEY STILL THERE TAVROS?!?!?

AT: uH,,, NO,

AT: gAMZEE WAS HERE AT THE TIME,

AT: hE MANAGED SOME CHUCKLEVOODOOS AND CHASED THEM OFF,

CG: FUCK!

CG: IS HE OK?!?

terminallyCapricious [TC] has joined the memo!

TC: AwWw… I’m MoThErFuCkInG aLlRiGhT bRo.

TC: I jUsT gOt My MoThErFuCkInG vOoDoO oN aNd ChAsEd ThEm FuCkErS aWaY fRoM mY wIcKeD tAvBrO.

CG: GOOD. THAT’S FUCKING GOOD.

AA: excuse me f0r interrupting

AA: but we have been greatly diverted fr0m 0ur 0riginal t0pic of discussi0n

CG: FUCK.

CG: OK EVERYONE.

CG: SPREAD THE WORD TO THE HUMANS AND OUR DANCESTORS.

CG: TAVROS HAS THE LARGEST HIVE FOR SOME STRANGE REASON SO LET’S ALL MEET AT HIS PLACE IN TWO HOURS.

CG: BRING YOUR WEAPONS AND STRIFE DECKS.

CG: WE’RE GOING TO WAR ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

CG: WE NEED A GAME PLAN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm embarressed that it took so long to write this. And that it's so short. As it turns out, I suck at memos. The different quirks... Ugh... I gave up partway through and just shoved in a meeting at Tavros'. Hopefully the next chapter will be much better. Next point of view will be Tavros, naturally, and hopefully be out a hell of a lot sooner than this one was. Any critisims are welcome.


	5. War Council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some plots are laid, some history is introduced, and Eridan is surprisingly decent. Told from Tavros's point of view.

**== > Be the Nervous, Crippled Troll**

 

Uh… I-I’m still kinda nervous… B-But I’m not crippled anymore! I was fixed in the endgame!

 

**== > I’m sorry. Be Tavros.**

 

Your name is Tavros Nitram. You are currently in your hive, preparing a few snack-type things for your friends, mostly to calm your nerves. Your hands shake a little as you pull a pan of biscuits out of the oven for your human friends, their dietary needs being different from yours. You somehow manage to not shake them off the pan as you reflect on the reason you were baking in the first place.

 

The war council that Karkat had declared was to meet here at any minute. You hadn’t expected anything so big when you had gotten on the memo that Karkat had created. You had really only gotten on to read his funny rants. And now? Now you were doing all you could to not dwell on the matter, despite being the one preparing for the meeting.

 

You steady yourself before taking your latest piece of baking and arrange it in your admittedly large living room. You’ve always needed a fair amount of room to move around in, even before you were in your wheelchair, thanks to your large horns. When you designed your hive on this new planet, you designed it in mind for your wheelchair, with ramps instead of stairs and lots of space for maneuvering.

 

You sigh as you place the biscuits on the table, next to the plethora of sweets and baked goods that you’ve been using to distract yourself ever since Gamzee left. He’d needed to grab his Strife Deck, leaving you all alone to dwell on your thoughts. And you might well continue to dwell if not for someone knocking on the door.

 

Walking slowly to the door, your legs shaky, you open it to reveal the solid wall of muscle that was Equius. And, just barely visible behind him, Nepeta.

 

“Greetings lowblood.” Equius said in his rumbling growl. You quake a little before Nepeta squeezed past her Moirail and darted in to give you a hug. “You have to careful with Tavros Equius!” The little cattroll reminded her STRONG companion. “You scare Tavros! I’m surprised that he didn’t faint like befur!”

 

You flush brown at that memory. Equius had been getting himself psyched up for the final battle when you had walked in on him, tapping into his highblood rage. The murderous glance he had sent your way had overridden your brain and caused you to pass out. He had apologized afterwards, but now everyone kept referencing it; even Nepeta who, unlike Vriska, never meant any harm or hurt to it.

 

“Uh… Hello there. Um… Hey Nepeta… Can you please stop mentioning that? It’s uh… Kinda embarrassing. Also… Uh… Come on in? I’ve put some snacks in the living room.” As the word ‘snacks’ crossed your lips, Nepeta squealed in delight and made a dash to the living room, leaving you with Equius.

 

For a few minutes, you and Equius just awkwardly stood there. Each uncomfortable in the other’s presence. Thankfully, their silence was soon broken by the arrival of more people.

 

***

 

A full hour after Equius and Nepeta’s arrival, everyone had assembled in your living room. Everyone seemed rather grateful for the snacks that you had provided, that provided a distraction from the pacing Karkat.

 

“…AND THAT’S THE SITUATION FROM WHAT WE KNOW OF IT SO FAR.” Karkat said, concluding his status update to the assembled humans and trolls.

 

“Not a wwhole lot to go on, all things considered…” Eridan said, dropping his usual douchebag act in favor of looking through some documents Karkat had dropped on the table. Despite his usual appearance and demeanor, Eridan was an expertly trained tactician and Karkat had appointed him as second-in-command.

 

“Vvriska has reported an increase in patrols of both races. The only real intel wwe havve on this ‘wwar’ is from a crazed human that Aradia pulped seconds after he talked. That, and the fact that a group of human soldiers tried wwaisting Vvriska on the grounds of her being a troll.” Eridan continued on a bit before a delicate coughing, almost completely silent, interrupted him. “Yes Tavv?”

 

You shyly get up, looking around at everyone. All of the ‘beta’ trolls were assembled. As well as all of the humans, from both sessions. There were even a few of the ‘alpha’ trolls. Porrim was sitting next to Kankri, heading off all of his attempts to start preaching. Aranea was off to the side, jotting down all of the details of the meeting, a sort of unofficial record keeper. Your dancestor, Rufioh, gave you a small nod of encouragement. Beside him, Damara gave you a sly wink. She was only there because Rufioh had broken up with Horuss and was trying to catch him on the rebound. Horuss, of course, wasn’t there. He was working on a project at the behest of Equius. Mituna was having a bad day with his headaches, and had stayed at his hive with Latula to care for him. Meenah was out of their colony on a diplomatic mission, trying to secure seeds and livestock. A boring job for her, but she was kept entertained by Kurloz and Meulin, who had decided to accompany her. Cronus… No one really knew. Shortly after they had arrived he had packed up his things and left on a ‘journey of self-discovery’. Leaving is certainly what you felt like doing, but you knew that you had information that your tactician master needed to hear.

 

Haltingly, you tell the collected assembly of the recruiting team that had been at your hive. It had been a typical troll squad, mostly low-midbloods with a cerulean leader. Their leader had made Tavros especially nervous, his shade being a rather close match to Vriska’s. They had been vague, only stating that they were recruiting for an army and not giving any more details than that. They were bent on seeing Tavros recruited, thinking that since he was such a lowlblood he’d have no choice in the matter. Gamzee showed them that not only did Tavros have a choice, the recruiters had better respect it. The other trolls had left in a hurry. Afterwards, Tavros had calmed down Gamzee and sent him to his hive to collect a few things, like his clubs.

 

“Typical squad formation eh?” Eridan said thoughtfully. “Sounds official… But wwait. The caste system still exists as a general rule, but aren’t the usual squads nowwadays mostly composed of lowwbloods and highbloods with the middies being in charge? Evven I’ll admit that wwith a little training Nep can plan circles around me. And let’s not evven forget TZ.”

 

“Eh heh heh heh… Thanks Eridan!” Terezi cackled from somewhere in the back.

 

“Terezi, stop grinning. It’s seriously freaking me out.” Eridan said, deadpan. “But the point is, most squads wwe’vve run into are based around actual tactical planning and not based on the hemosystem. No one’s done that since that Condescension beach. And unless the history books are telling lies, she died about a couple hundred swweeps before wwe got here.”

 

“Thaaaaaaaat may not be entirely accurate.” As one, all of the trolls and humans in the living block turned to face Vriska.

 

“EXPLAIN VRISKA.” Karkat said, scythe suddenly in hand and knuckles turning ashy from how tight he was holding it. “AND YOU BETTER EXPLAIN PRETTY DAMN FAST.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, its been awhile since my last update. Why? I have no good excuse. I'm kind of lazy and have a habit of doing something, and then dropping it for awhile before picking it up again. Not asking for forgiveness, but I figure any person who actually likes what I write is due an explanation. I had an alternate ending where Eridan ended on a questioning note when stating that the Condesce was dead. But I liked the cliffhanger ending better. Was thinking of doing a side thing in addition to what I do now where readers post questions to various characters from Homestuck and I answer them as the character. Kind of like an ask blog, but I suck at art so that's not a good option for me. I'm hoping that in addition to entertaining people with it, it'll help encourage me to keep a better schedule. What do ya'll think? If you like the idea, post the first questions here on this chapter and after I get a few I'll start.
> 
> One last thing, I took out the tags listing the individual characters. Those get a bit cumbersome after awhile. I kept in the 'All Trolls' and 'All Kids' tags though.


End file.
